Here We Go Again
Long-time readers of this blog might remember my first post, where I wrote about how my relationship with social media had changed. Back then, I had just decided to create a new Instagram account after roughly four years off the grid—as an experiment, with a strict set of rules. A while later, I wrote a (now deleted) follow-up about how I’d thrown those rules out the window after a meditation retreat, and how I started using Instagram pretty much like everyone else.
What I didn’t mention in that post was what happened next.
After dropping my rules, things gradually got worse. I was on Instagram too much, too often, and—more importantly—I started caring too much about what other people thought of me. That’s a slippery slope I had been on before, and I knew exactly where it was heading. So I did what I had to do: I deleted it. Again.
Now I’m back. And before you roll your eyes—yes, I know how this sounds. But hear me out, because this time I actually think I’ve figured out why it kept going wrong.
The Real Problem with Social Media
My core issue with social media is that the name is kind of a misnomer. It’s not really social anymore—it’s just media. The “social” part implies some kind of genuine human connection, but let’s be honest, that’s rarely what’s actually happening. What we’ve got is closer to a broadcasting platform, not unlike YouTube.
And I think that distinction matters a lot. On YouTube, the roles are pretty clear: there are creators who make content, and there are consumers who watch it. You can technically do both, but most people consciously lean one way or the other. Social media used to blur that line completely—and for me, trying to be both a creator and a consumer at the same time turned out to be genuinely unhealthy. I’d get sucked into scrolling, start comparing myself to others, lose motivation to create, and eventually lose track of why I was even there in the first place.
On top of that, social media has pushed the blurring of public and private life further than ever before. I find it deeply unhealthy to be constantly thinking about your “brand” in your personal time, or to feel like your private life is something that needs to be packaged and marketed. It creates distorted ideas of what life is supposed to look like—and when you’re already in a vulnerable place, that comparison trap can do a lot of damage. Trust me on that one.
It’s also worth remembering that what people show on social media is almost always incomplete and distorted. Nobody can tell from a profile what a person is actually like, or what their life really looks like behind the screen. That sounds obvious, but it’s easy to forget when you’re in the middle of scrolling.
What’s Different This Time
So what am I actually doing differently? Mostly, it comes down to taking my old rules more seriously—and adding a new one.
1. No phone use. I’ve tried installing Instagram on my phone a few times now. It never ends well. Doom-scrolling is practically built into the mobile experience. On a computer, at least, you can install a browser extension to hide the news feed—and you’re less likely to mindlessly pick it up out of habit.
2. I don’t follow people I know personally. This one is about protecting myself from the comparison trap. If I want to catch up with a friend, I’ll call them, text them, or grab a coffee with them in person. That’s almost always more meaningful anyway. Social media interactions tend to be pretty surface-level, and mixing my personal relationships with my creator presence just muddies the water.
3. No stories. I genuinely don’t see the point. If something is worth sharing, I’ll post it. If it only qualifies as a story, it probably isn’t worth posting at all.
The common thread through all of these is a clear separation between two things: my role as a creator, and my private life. The moment those start bleeding into each other—the moment I start caring what specific people think of my posts, or feel like I have to perform my personal life online—that’s when it gets unhealthy. I’ve lived that, and I don’t want to go back.
One More Thing
The media world is fast, short-sighted, and often completely overblown. In the grand scheme of things, what happens on social media barely matters. I think we’d all do ourselves a huge favor by spending a little more time in the real world, talking to real people, face to face—and touching some grass every once in a while.
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